Pålegg
by D'Fuentes
Summary: Stories based on word prompts inspired by Bored Panda's post; '14 Untranslatable Words Turned Into Charming Illustrations' by Christopher Appelgren. Michelangelo has his days.
1. Cafuné

_Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except for the plot. None of the characters mentioned are mine. I own no rights to the soap opera references made, 'Felix the Cat, and definitely not to Bored Panda's post on '14 Untranslatable Words Turned Into Charming Illustrations' by Christopher Appelgren. Give credit where credit is due._

* * *

He was most content when he was catching up on one of his favorite soaps; 'Days of Our Lives', and today he would have been more than pleased to sit in his usual spot on their weathered sofa, taking in the day's excitement without distractions.

 _Abigail was relaying her troubles with Ben's past to Melanie while they stood in the Square._

Except today he _was_ distracted by his not-so-unusual companion for daily soaps. The young turtle sat at his side, fully engrossed in the tale unfolding before them. Luckily for him, he was not _as_ distracted as the Master was.

Splinter glanced at the unnerving Felix-the-Cat wall-clock to his left and counted thirty seconds before deciding whether or not to ask Michelangelo his question, since he was curious to know. He also realized that he should probably talk to Donatello about replacing the ridiculous clock with its massive, roaming cat eyes. But for now this terrapin was his main focus.

"Michelangelo?"

"Hmm?" Mikey murmured. He shifted his head slightly as if to look at Splinter, but then his head returned to its original position where his eyes remained fixed on the television screen.

 _Melanie reacts wildly to Abigail's 'kiss and tell' story about her visit to Chad._

Splinter pressed on, annoyed a bit by Michelangelo's lackluster response. "Is there something bothering you, my son?"

The orange-masked ninja hesitated to tear his attention away from the show, but he did anyway. He met Splinter's eyes with a confused expression. "What? No...why?"

The wizened rodent sucked in his breath to hold back from answering the terrapin directly. He did not want to make his _youngest_ ward feel awkward or uncomfortable, so he said, "Never mind, _Musuko_. My old mind thinks too much."

Mikey's bright eyes narrowed behind his mask as a small frown formed on his face. "Ohh-kay then..." His head slowly turned away from Splinter and back towards the television screen.

 _Rafe catches Ben filling out a W-2 form using his new surname 'Weston'._

Splinter tried to continue watching his story as well, but found it too difficult to concentrate on what was happening. "Are you sure?" He asked.

This time Michelangelo turned bodily to face his _Sensei_ and tipped his head to one side. "Yeah. I'm as sure as Abigail and Chad."

The Master made a noncommittal sound through his nose and shifted in his seat. He then directed a glare at the _nunchaku_ -carrying mutant. "Then why are you petting me as though I am one of your pets?" He demanded.

The orange-masked turtle recoiled and bared his teeth, chagrined. "Oops, sorry!" He instinctively pulled his hand out of Splinter's tan fur and brought his arm back down to his side from the top of the backrest. "Force of habit, I guess?" He shrugged, flashing a cheeky grin and bolted from his spot, casting one final look at the playing soap episode.

Splinter shook his head, amused mildly. " _Orokana kame!_ _"_

* * *

 _Musuko - Japanese for 'son'._

 _Orokana kame - Japanese for 'silly turtle'. I think._

 _Cafuné - Brazilian Portuguese which means tenderly running fingers through hair._

* * *

 _Reviews are welcome. XD_


	2. Pålegg

_Disclaimer: I don't think I need to put another disclaimer. There's one for this story on Chapter 1._

* * *

It felt like he was under an intensive audit, being watched as he started to work on the fridge, but he paid no mind to it. Donatello was about to mess with the main 'food-mine' in their household so it was normal for someone to behave like a silent supervisor, however irritating.

Raphael had approached him earlier claiming that the refrigerator wasn't working properly. There was a funky smell coming from it, he said, which meant Don has to fix it and get rid of the foul odor. On checking the fridge, the Genius discovered that everything was functioning perfectly, except for the smell of really stale food, hidden somewhere in the small over-packed refrigerator.

The purple-masked turtle groaned aloud. He was set-up by his brothers to clean the fridge, since he had skipped out on kitchen duty four nights before because he was 'caught-up' in an experiment and no one bothered to even do the dishes. It was Don's turn. The next day they were all told-off by Master Splinter for being neglectful ninjas and having a lack of respect for the traditions they were raised by. He also threw in some of his thoughts on how they failed to operate as a team; laying blame on one another instead of correcting each other's slack.

Perhaps he deserved this punishment. He got to work and started to remove the bottles and jars from the door, and placed them on the counter-top in a row. There his silent supervisor decided to break his silence.

"What'chya got there Donny?" Michelangelo questioned, padding over to exposed items.

Donatello was turning out some more stuff when he saw the _younger_ turtle. "I don't know," he replied, waving at the bottles. "It looks like food from the fridge."

Mikey laughed. "Good one, Bro. I didn't see that coming. You figured us out, didn't ya?"

Don ignored the question and continued to cant out the cold food stock. Instead he asked, "What do you want, Michelangelo?"

"I'm here to help..."

Don paused. His hand hovered over the quarter filled Hershey's Chocolate Syrup. Did he hear correctly? Michelangelo helping?

"By keeping inventory," the mutant added with a smirk.

Donatello scoffed. "Whatever. Just don't be a pest."

And as he expected his warning went unnoticed. The orange-masked ninja began arranging the food by calling out his categorizing process, while the Genius continued to _excavate_ the appliance.

"Half empty jar of Nutella, you sit here by the peanut butter with the strawberry jam and the Hershey's Chocolate, and maple syrup. I'll put the caramel syrup here too -"

"Mikey," Don butted in as he shoved a small container into the other turtle's hands. There was one left-over waffle inside of it. Most likely stored there by Leonardo. One cannot afford to look greedy. "Must you think out loud?"

"Shhh. It's a process," Mike replied. "Now for these few olives here. We've got pickles, capers, ketchup, mustard, mayo, one slice of Kraft Cheddar...Don, I think we need to go to the grocery store. At least we have a good bit of Sriracha left and a teaspoon's worth of 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter'. Who bought this? What's wrong with butter? Who is so gullible to believe that this here is not real butter? "

Donatello sighed and shook his head in resignation. He tried to drown his brother out by sticking his head into the fridge, but that method failed. "Who do you think, Einstein? April shops for us and I think she tries to look after our health - which is hardly necessary."

"Hmmm. What you got for me next?"

Don handed over a glass bottle filled with green, runny stuff that smelled like culantro - not cilantro, and Mikey exclaimed, "Here's my heavenly C _hadon B_ eni sauce!"

"Here, take the condensed milk too, you weirdo."

"Sweet!"

Mikey chatted on rapidly, staying consistent in taking the items from Donatello's hands and lining them up around the kitchen.

As it were, the counter-top reminded Don of April's vanity top sink. It was littered with oddly shaped perfume bottles, anti-aging lotions, body lotions, smelly bath salts, different brands of shampoo and hair removal creams. She also had hair spray, toothpaste and nail polish piled on there, all making up a collapsible mountain. Then again, the counter-top fared a little better.

"One slice of roast beef. Some stinky old salami; toss. Two pieces of ham, two slices of turkey, chicken from Wednesday night's dinner... Why do we have one or two slices of everything? I need more. Where are the eggs?"

The fridge-cleaner muttered darkly inside the safety of the fridge and passed the last three eggs to the inventory-taker.

"I think we'll be eating pizza for the next few days," he announced, shuffling off to another section of the kitchen.

Way in the back Don found a large-sized lid container and he cracked the cover to peek at the contents. Huge mistake. His beak was assaulted by a rotted, onion-infused aroma and inside sat a clump of muddy mush. The terrapin snapped the lid back on and dumped the entire thing into the bin. He tossed three other containers with fungi colonies and cursed himself for not growing them himself. He took one back out of the bin to save for later because penicillin is a miraculous thing and it shouldn't be wasted.

He reached back inside for the next item and held it outside for Michelangelo to take without emerging from the refrigerator. When the ninja didn't take the box from him, he backed out and stood up. "Mikey?" He looked around for the missing ninja.

"Yeah,"The turtle answered from near the stove-top. Then there was the sound of a soft crack, followed by crackling.

"Michelangelo!"

Mike was unconcerned, ceremoniously poking at the edges of the gooey egg yolk with a spatula. "Oh. Sorry, Dude. I just had to complete my masterpiece," he stated, pointing at a tower of layered bread slices with a lone waffle set in the middle. The slices were flattened and a range of sauces leaked down the sides over the edges of different meat.

"I call it the 'Leaning Sandwich of Pisa'," he explained, "and I had to squish them down to stop it from toppling over so it's not leaning now..."

"Ugh! I should have known," the Genius grumbled, eyeing the skyscraper sandwich under construction. "I hope it makes you sick," he said, and then he walked away with his bowl of fungi.

The orange-masked ninja gasped. "I revoke that in the name of Battle Nexus!"

"Shut up."

* * *

 _What? Don't judge me._

 _Pålegg - is Norwegian for anything and everything that you can put on a slice of bread._


	3. Gufra

_AN: Thank you all so much for reading and leaving your lovely reviews!_

 _As you may realize I forgot to say what_ _Pålegg_ _meant. It is Norwegian for anything and everything that you can put on a slice of bread. And I guess it's suitable for this fic. Anything and everything that I can put in here. XD_

 _Disclaimer: I own no characters or the story of the Forty-Seven Ronin as told by A.B. Mitford (not that damned movie)._

* * *

 _"_...Daimyo Asano's retainers became _ronin_ after his death. The news got to Ōishi Kuranosuke Yoshio, who was Asano's principal councilor, and he sent his lord's family into hiding before he surrendered the castle."

"Uhm, Sensei," Leonardo's voice stopped Splinter mid-story and the Master lifted a questioning brow.

"Yes?"

"The water is all gone now," he informed him, seeming unsure about what he should do next.

"That means you need to pick up some more and keep your hands a little tighter," Splinter instructed. "And remember to refill whenever too much drains out or the level drops."

Like an obedient child, the young ninja bent down and scooped up a handful of cold water from the spring near his feet. Splinter nodded in approval and continued his tale.

"Kira became wary of the _ronins'_ imminent revenge and sought extra protection against any possible attacks. It was the way of the _samurai_ ; to exact revenge on the one who murdered their master. However, under the Shogunate reign this practice was against the law. Kira even sent out spies to watch the Akō _ronin_. Of the three-hundred leader-less retainers, forty-seven swore to avenge Asano before they all disbanded to find jobs as laborers and merchants.

"Ōishi in particular began acting unlike any _samurai. _ He settled down in Kyoto and behaved like a drunkard to the point where he fell asleep in the street and was mocked and beaten. He eventually divorced his wife so that she and their kids could be safe. He also made frequent visits to _geishas _ in his madness. No one realized that this was part of his plan to throw off Kira's spies..."

Leo bent down again to capture more of the chilly water in the palms of his hands, while Splinter watched with curious eyes. He was the one who told Leonardo to keep his hands constantly filled with water while he spoke, and it proved to be somewhat entertaining.

"What have you learnt so far, Leonardo?"

The blue-masked terrapin straightened up to look his father in the eyes and his hairless brows furrowed in thought. After a few seconds he said, "Patience is the key to any successful strategy."

"Wrong answer."

Disappointed, the turtle lowered his head, and the _sensei_ resumed his story.

"Ōishi's plan worked because Kira was becoming convinced that Asano's former retainers were not seeking revenge. To him they became worthless, honor-less ronin. The faithful forty-seven _ronin_ regrouped when they learnt of Kira's new vulnerability. Some of them had already infiltrated his Edo mansion as workers and tradesmen and uncovered the building plans. They delivered information about the building's layout to Ōishi so that they can plan their attack. They had been waiting for two long years to avenge their lord's death.

"When the day came, they split up into two groups to invade Kira's home. Ōishi led one group to attack the front gate and his son led the second group to attack from the back gate. A drum was used to signal their attacks. They had plans to place Kira's severed head at Asano's tomb in offering. After a fierce battle, they took down all of Kira's unsuspecting guards and went to search for Kira, who was hiding. Eventually Ōishi located Kira in a secret courtyard and used a whistle to signal the others."

Leonardo dipped his hands down again for more water and Splinter paused until he was standing again. They were out in the woods in Massachusetts, not too far from their friend's farmhouse, on a so-called 'father-son' retreat, according to Splinter. He had chosen this site because of the small spring. It flowed peacefully between the trees and added a natural splendor to its surroundings; perfect for tranquility.

"Ōishi, recognizing Kira's position as an Edo Official, knelt down and addressed him as he should. He told him who they were and how they had come to avenge Asano's death. He offered Kira the chance to commit _seppuku_ so he could die like a true _samurai._ Kira was terrified and hesitated from doing the act himself. The _ronin_ got tired of waiting for Kira to commit _seppuku,_ so instead Ōishi ordered them to pin him down. He beheaded the cowardly man using the same knife that Asano was forced to commit _seppuku_ with, and left, taking the head with him. They cleaned the head and placed it along with the dagger at Asano's tomb.

"This act of revenge caused conflict with the Shogunate authority and they sentenced the forty-seven _ronin_ to death as criminals. However, the people petitioned the verdict because they saw them as 'honorable' _Bushido samurai_ , and held them in high favor. As a result of the continuous petitions, the Shogun was forced to compromise, and ordered the _ronin_ to commit _seppuku. _ Forty-six of Asano's former retainers ended his own life with acceptance, except for one who was pardoned due to his age. And that is the story of the Forty-seven _ronin_."

The elderly mutant looked at his pupil and asked, "What have you learnt from this?"

Leonardo released the remaining water from his hands and said, "To always honor the _Bushido_ code, even when you face your adversary."

The rodent shook his head. "Not quite. Try again."

"Uh - Revenge is not always the solution; it comes with a price," The young leader tried to guess.

"That statement is very true, Leonardo," the humble Master assured him. "But I was asking about the water, not the Akō incident. What have you learnt from holding the water?"

The ninja's eyes widened when he finally understood what his teacher was asking. "I've learnt that you can't keep water in your hands forever. It will always drain out."

Master Splinter nodded. "Anything else?"

The turtle thought for a moment and in a straight and serious voice he said, "It is very cold and wet."

Splinter's whiskers twitched at that. "Cute; very cute. But you should leave the cheekiness to Michelangelo."

Leonardo almost balked at the word 'cute', and had to fight to keep his composure. "I"m sorry, _Sensei_."

"Much better," the Master replied. "Now I will explain what this exercise was supposed to mean." He motioned for his son to sit beside him on the bank before continuing. "You see, the water can represent many things in this life that are not in our control. No matter how hard you try to hold on to it using your own hands, it will always drip away with time. Time tears everything away - and it doesn't matter if it takes decades or seconds, the truth is that it will be gone in the end. That is the way it should be. We cannot control these things in life and like the water, the most natural thing to do is to let it go. Let it flow and go on its own. Do you understand?"

"I - I think so," Leo returned, growing slightly more tense. "So...if the water was anger, and you tried to keep it in your hands, then you'd wind up constantly trying to refill with more anger."

"Exactly."

"And eventually you'd end up being trapped in an endless cycle of rage..."

"Yes, and the same goes for pain, revenge and all the other negative emotions we may carry as well. It is also better to let it go than to let it drown you as well, my son."

"Seems like Raphael may have needed this more than me," the blue-masked turtle pointed out.

"Perhaps," Splinter agreed, "but Raphael requires a completely different technique since he lacks the patience that you posses. Besides, he is not the one who lost someone they cared for recently."

He saw when Leonardo's shoulders tensed and then drop with those words, and automatically placed a comforting hand on the grieving turtle's shoulder. "Let go and let time do it's work..."

* * *

 _Gufra_ _is Arabic for any amount of water that can fit in two hands._

 _I know this one is kind of sad, but it follows 'Playing Hearts' or the TMNT 'Swan Song' comic arc. Whichever one you've read is fine._

 _Thanks for reading._


	4. Bakku-shan

_The disclaimers came before. Same applies. Read on._

* * *

The red-masked ninja skirted around the bend and sprinted towards the edge of the building where he bounded to the next rooftop. Karai was not far behind on the ninja's tail and dug her toes into the ground to keep up with him. She could not afford to lose him. She launched off the roof, and touched down on the other with an equal amount of skill as the turtle, however much more graceful.

Though out of sight, she could sense the presence of the other turtles as they tried to prevent her chase. She didn't care; she would have them all either way, but her focus was locked on the one in the red mask. _The insolent_...

Leonardo, the _oh-so-honorable_ leader, called out to her from nearby. "Give it up, Karai! This is pointless. We both know that this is a waste of your time."

The woman refused to listen. He was only concerned about the rising sun because it meant that they'd have to return to their underground hiding. She hoped that it did, for then they'd run the risk of exposing themselves to the waking population of New York, and the red-masked _kame_ would be forced to cease his running.

"Karai, stop! It's not worth it," the mutant-clan leader shouted for the third time.

She still did not heed him. Who was he to shout orders at her, the daughter of a great and powerful clan master. This turtle was clearly delusional.

Somewhere behind the one in orange cackled and said to his leader, "Raph sure pissed her off this time. She won't tire." He laughed some more and caused the purple-masked turtle to join in.

 _'Stupid_ _kame_ _.'_ Karai scowled in disgust. ' _Them and their foolish, immature, teenage-boy behavior and attitudes. Disrespectful creatures!_ '

She guessed she was more distracted than she had originally believed because one of the ninjas blindsided her and a _bo-staff_ crashed into her side, knocking her straight off her feet. She tucked into a roll to lessen the impact and ended up hitting a side wall. Her naked blades sliced through her clothing, nicking her forearms and thighs. Annoyed, she jumped up and took on a defensive stance.

"You will pay for that!" She warned the purple-masked turtle and lunged at him, prepared to cut his staff into two. She will not be defeated by _this_ one; or anyone for that matter. Shockingly, the turtle dodged all of her attacks and left her out-of-form and open to an attack from the blue-leader.

Blocking his strikes, she snarled. "Can't you let your brothers fend for themselves? How will they learn to become better fighters if you keep throwing yourself in the middle of their battles?"

One of the ninja's _katana_ missed her by the strand of a hair, so she increased the distance between them to regain control. She finally got the advantage when the turtle staggered back from her aggressive advance; barely blocking her strikes. She spotted an opportunity and thrust her blade forward, intending to open his throat.

The orange-clad ninja intervened at that moment, by wrapping his _nunchaku_ around her swords and jerking them away from the target. The sheer strength of this one's pull revealed how truly exhausted she was and threw her off-balance. She had been out all night with five foot-soldiers on a 'business run' when they crossed paths with the four mutants, and her men were taken out shortly thereafter. She was left to deal with the problem on her own, hence the situation.

The three ninjas had her surrounded now, but the big guy was nowhere nearby. Her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Karai, won't you give it a rest?" Asked the honor-bound ninja. "You've already lost."

The woman let out a short-tempered scream; which sounded like she was having an adult tantrum without the stomping of feet. "I have not!" She retorted. "I will not give up until I have his head!" She gestured in the direction of the red-masked brother's trail. Her nose flared each time she exhaled and she wished there were flames. She wanted to see her enemies' flesh burn in the fires of a dragon's breath.

Spurred by hate she attacked again, switching from one turtle to the next. She parried past the leader, clipped the nerd on his shell and caught the childish one in his chest with her foot. Perhaps this will finally be her victory over the turtles. _The insolent_ _kame_ _._ Her father will be surprised and will finally grant her a sect to lord over. _'Yes!'_

All of a sudden her victory-fantasy was snuffed out when a familiar red blur appeared out of the corner of her eye. She swung a wild blade at the others to keep them back and turned to face the newcomer.

"You!" His mirth-filled face made her enraged.

"What thuh heck happened to you guys? I was giving _Crazy_ herethe run for her life and then she disappeared on me. Why'd you stop her, Leo?"

"Raph, I -"

"Shut up!" Karai bellowed, cutting across the blue-clad terrapin. "I will not be disrespected by the likes of your kind; especially you!" Her hand shook as she pointed at the red-masked turtle. "Fight me like the ninja you claim you are, you - you frog!"

The red-masked opponent was taken aback for a moment and then he snorted - quite amused. All four of the ninjas started to grin. They were laughing at her.

"What's the matter, Karai?" Orange-mask goaded. "Did Raph touch a nerve with that one?"

"Yeah," Bo-staff Junior jumped in, "you've never gotten our species confused before. What's wrong?"

Again they laughed boisterously, save for their leader who remained silent in his amusement.

"I guess no one has ever told you that, eh?" The burly one smirked. He approached her with his sickening cocky face.

"You have no right to insult me that way… you're not even human!" Karai hissed. "You're just a monster!" She hoped to get a rise out of him, because he had a reputation of fighting poorly whenever he was angry.

Instead, the turtle laughed and replied, "You know, usually I'd get really pissed off at anyone who called me that, but not today. Today it's effin' funny coming from you."

"Argh!" The _kuniochi_ growled like a feral wolf. "I will kill you!"

She dived at the hulking reptile and crossed blades with his. The others seemed to fall back, including the clan-leader. The two fighters exchanged swipes and kicks, neither of them connecting a strong blow to the other. Their blades screeched on contact as she parried the jabs from the _sai_ -wielder. _'I will defeat you.'_

Karai kept up her fight, disregarding the tiredness in her muscles. The turtle on the other hand proved to be resilient. He was quicker and calmer than her for once. Desperate to get the upper hand, she rushed in while he was distracted by something the orange-masked ninja did and missed him. A solid knee impacted with her neck and threw her off her bearings. She slammed to the ground hard, gasping for air.

"Careful, Karai. Uncontrolled rage can blind you in battle," he mocked her - using none other than the rodent-master's accent.

More of their laughter traveled to her ears, re-fueling her anger. She flipped back up onto her feet to continue battling and said, "You have not won yet, _kame._ " And as those words left her mouth, a small object flew directly towards her face. The orange one had thrown it. Instinctively, she shielded her face with both hands to deflect the object, but when it made contact; her mouth, nose and eyes were sprayed with _metsubushi_ _._ Karai coughed and spluttered from the effects of the powder. The idiot threw a _happō_ at her face.

"See ya later, _Bakku-shan_ \- oops, I mean, Karai," the red-masked ninja bid her farewell and the others erupted into more teenage-boy cackling.

Karai screamed in rage, knowing that she had lost them and suffered shame. ' _What do they know of_ _bakku-shan_ _\- those non-humans!'_

He called her a _bakku-shan_ ... twice.

* * *

 _Thank you for reading and leaving your dear reviews._

* * *

 _Metsubushi_ _(Not Mitsubishi car manufacturers) is a Japanese word for 'blinding powder.'_

 _Kuniochi_ _is a term given to a female ninja._

 _Happō_ _is an egg filled with_ _metsubushi_ _._

 _Bakku-shan_ _refers to a girl who is only pretty when viewed from the back and not from the front._


End file.
